Rob Constable: guitar, vocals, keyboards

About Trevor France

Rob Constable with portrait of Rob Constable Robert began his musical life with piano lessons at age four. He did not like the music that he was learning at the time and the only thing that he can remember about his music teacher was that he always had two to three rolls of Lifesavers™ on him. The first record that he purchased (chose himself) was one by Soupy Sales, however he secretly listened to many of his older sister's rock and roll albums. At age eight, he started taking guitar lessons, and by age eleven shyly played rhythm guitar with his teacher's lounge act under the stage name of "Little Robert". His parents were really quite proud. When occasionally asked to take 'a solo' during these lounge performances, he would usually defer, and he has carried that policy into his adult life. Robert was interested in music of all kinds, and, in his teens, listened avidly to both Led Zeppelin and the orchestral music of Charles Ives and Igor Stravinsky. Soon he was unable to distinguish between any of them. As a college student Robert's apartment was burglarized - three guitars and a violin were stolen and never recovered. Robert took this as a sign to pursue classical music composition. Some years later, he rediscovered what he thought was pop music in the recordings of Half Japanese and The Fall. In 1993, he formed a group called Rob and the Robettes with maniac bass player Mary Guidera. Rob and the Robettes was never complete as a band and never had what one would call a rehearsal, however they did perform only once at the Bonk Festival of New Music in a composition for chamber orchestra and rock band entitled Concerto for Rob and the Robettes. Their only attempt to record a couple of songs ended with Mary spending the night in jail.
In 1996, Handshake Squad was formed, consisting only of Robert Constable and Dave Rogers. Again, there were very few rehearsals - which were mainly debates over which convenient store had the best prices for Old English 800 Malt Liquor - and a lot of recording. These recordings featured a "one take" policy.
The current super group formation of Handshake Squad can often be seen in the Tampa/St. Petersburg area. Robert has to practice in order to play the newer songs. He complains about this almost constantly.

CRITICAL INFORMATION

Porn Name:Ralph Vojik
Favorite Sound:Any sound that makes you think you should leave the building immediately
Favorite State:moments before eating a hotdog from 7-Eleven
Favorite Gas:Any gas that immediately recalls a distinct memory
Turn Ons:Going to parties where the host(ess) doesn't know you.
Turn Offs:Angle greater than 90 degrees
Things I Don't Understand:Foods artificially flavored to taste like other foods
Ideal Date:The day Nsync file for unemployment.
Blanket Statement:'Thank the sweet baby Jesus'
Favorite Product Not Available In Any Store:That spray-on hair
Favorite Porn Movie Title:Yank My Doodle, It's A Dandy
Favorite Fictitious Band Name:24-INCH No. 2